Like Letters-The Advantages And Disadvantages of Dating Fraternity Dudes

By Rachel Cieri

You don’t just date the guy; you date the entire fraternity when it comes to fraternity boyfriends.

Her Campus took a research the experiences of fraternity girlfriends to hand out the struggles and successes of dating a man who’s gone Greek.

Professional: Guy-friends galore

Elon University senior Katie Hatcher discovered in the beginning that being a fraternity gf implied significantly more than working with her beau’s penchant for bowties. She met her former boyfriend of two-and-a-half years during freshman orientation, so when he accepted a bid from the fraternity the next autumn, Hatcher quickly discovered her boyfriend’s brotherhood would become hers as well.

The relationships he developed paralleled on her end, leaving her with a slew of male friends as her boyfriend earned his letters, embraced traditions and introduced Hatcher to the fraternity social scene.

“One sibling believed to me, ‘The fraternity protects a unique, and you’re one of silverdaddies com our very own,’” Hatcher says.

Even she remained close friends with the boys to whom she often gave advice, baked cookies for and turned to in tough times after she and her fraternity beau split. “The fraternity got me personally throughout that breakup,” Hatcher says. “They babysat me each step associated with the method.”

Elon junior Cece Fitzgerald says her year-long relationship along with her boyfriend stretched his brothers to her friendships. A lot of her sorority siblings are their shared buddies, completing her Greek-esque circle that is social.

“Hanging away using them is one thing I’d be doing irrespective,” Fitzgerald claims. “It simply makes it easier that I’m dating him.”

Con: It’s almost a work

With all the advantages comes the burden of social duty. A fraternity gf is usually anticipated to devote the exact same commitment that her boyfriend pledged in to the brotherhood, despite the fact that she’s maybe not usually the one using the letters.

“I went through pledging with him,” Hatcher claims of her former fraternity boyfriend. “It was very hard because he wasn’t available. It absolutely was emotionally taxing, and then he ended up being exhausted most of the time.”

Pledging implied that Hatcher’s then-boyfriend missed occasions that have been vital that you her, nevertheless the fault ended up being usually dumped on her behalf as he missed out for a fraternity social occasion.

“If it absolutely was a Friday evening in which he wasn’t venturing out, their brothers would phone us to ask why,” Hatcher says.

“I think once you date some body in a fraternity, you need to be prepared to date their buddies, too,” says Kate Hopkins, an Elon senior who dated a fraternity guy at Georgia State University.

Professional: The girlfriends’ club

Fraternity girlfriends are like cheerleaders at a football game – they’re not the primary occasion, but they’re a group nonetheless. After turning up into the exact same date events and dinners for many weeks to come, the girlfriends can’t help but get acquainted with the other person.

“For a complete 12 months, any other Monday, a lot of the girlfriends would meet up to possess meal, and we’d either double- or triple-date every Wednesday,” Hatcher says of her knowledge about “the girlfriends’ club.”

Hopkins, who dated her fraternity that is former boyfriend 2 yrs, states she experienced the exact same feeling of community using the other girlfriends.

“The girls took me in their circle that is inner and like, ‘this is how it operates,’” Hopkins claims. “It had been good to possess girls to hold away with when I ended up being visiting.”

Con: contending with dudes for their attention

Any company could be a big dedication, however some fraternities are because needy as Sammi and Ronnie on Jersey Shore, demanding a brother’s attention every waking minute. And therefore can keep a gf feeling like an afterthought as opposed to the focus.

“There were times once I was at the frat house until three each day me home,” Hopkins says before he would come back and take.

Even when she ended up being visiting, her previous boyfriend would usually fade away all day. There have been points whenever she wished to here tell him “I’m, too. You must anything like me a lot more than them.”

Hopkins’s beau that is former from the comfort of his pledge duration to a leadership position that left him constantly preparing the following big event and Hopkins feeling like they couldn’t getting away from the fraternity tradition.

That they can’t tell anyone, I felt like I was on the outside looking in,” Hopkins says“Because they have tons of secrets.

Fitzgerald, though, suggests that most a gf has to do is keep some available space for guy time.

“Let him do their thing that is own with fraternity,” she claims. “Of course he’ll wish to be to you, too, so allow him be together with brothers, then participate in later.”

Professional: A Significantly Better boyfriend

Greek Life might inform you that joining a fraternity does change you, n’t but that’s not at all times the truth.

Hatcher, whom met her former boyfriend long before he joined the bonds of brotherhood, claims she thought the ability made him a much better, more social individual.

“I liked it because he had been always therefore timid,” she claims. “It taught him backbone. He was asserting himself more, plus it made him more committed and taught him just how to balance a schedule.”

Fitzgerald states after serving their term as president regarding the fraternity, her boyfriend became way more mature, having dealt with all the obligations of their position. She states she thinks fraternity men gain a set that is strong of through the core maxims upon that the fraternity is started.

“I think guys strongly tied along with their fraternity you will need to live by their ritual every time, and therefore aided us link for a much deeper level,” she said.

Con: The mob mindset

For since smart and mature as he might appear one-on-one, the fraternity boy is affected with the sporadic episode of idiocy and behavior that is less-than-classy.

Hopkins states she saw her former boyfriend do “a many more stuff that is stupid as soon as he joined up with a fraternity.

“I think he set a tree on fire one time,” she says. “The old him never ever could have done that.”

Four Behavior of Noteworthy Fraternity Girlfriends

Thinking about setting up a fraternity love? Her Campus developed a few methods for coping with the brotherhood bromance.